Jellies Jelies I Like Jellies!

Hmmmm what is this little forum thingy? I don't seem to recall......Oh yeah! This is that thingy where I type shit to entertain myself for 30 minutes or so...and entertain all of my adoring fans (ummm right..). I know I know my blog absence has been way too long of a break. I'm sorry. But the martians from the planet Noob probed me into believing that this site was evil. They then made me do the chicken dance for the past umm three weeks. And one cannot type while dong the chicken dance!http://www.subservientchicken.com/ see that was me for three weeks! The Courtney you all saw was a fake clone of the martians! After all would the real Courtney get pneumonia and then invite people to her house the very same day? Nay I say NAY!

In between my dance I still had to work at the loverly hospital. Retail can give one hundreds of stories. I can attest to this. However, working in a hospital can give you oodles of them. As we all well know, oodles are way more than hundreds. The neuro floor should be called psych 2 as far as I am concerned. Since all of the people I am about to speak of are now gone from my floor. And since I know only crazy people come to this web page anyway. I shall write them a few notes:

Dear shitty pants

If you know when you have to go....use a FUCKING bed pan. Do not tell me you have to go...then refuse the bed pan...and make me change your whole bed. Its not a nice thing to do to people. And all black people in the hospital are not trying to kill you. They are trying to HELP you. When "K" helped you up the other night he did not flash a gun. I know you saw it. But in reality it was just something us in the business call a "towel". But rest assured if you are ever back in the hospital, I will protect you from those evil towels just like I told you I would cuz I'm nice like that.

Dear insanely Fat Insane Lady,
I know Jesus told you that you should. I know Jesus told you you could do it by tickling people. But NO you cannot kill the fellow techs by trying to underarm tickle us. Additionally, you cannot and will not stab us with the invisible shank that you have from prison. I DID NOT STEAL YOUR BERETTA! I know you want out of the hospital to get the "Jellies" I know you love said "Jellies". But singing "Jellies Jellies I like Jellies" over and over and over and over and over and over...will not get you them any faster. So now that you are out, enjoy your Jellies, hope you find that beretta...its much more affective than underarm tickles.

Dear Kissy Face
I'm sorry that I cannot find your invisible watch. But the next time you try and have someone put it on you, please do not then grab their hand and kiss it. Also do not slober on it. At least you had teeth....that made it better...but still...no slobber please. Also, just because you kissed my hand you did not impregnate me (tho I think the martians may have). I know that you think that I am having your child and that you now have to hold my hand 24/7 but you don't. I fact FUCKING LET GO OF MY HAND! I have to wash it 20 times.

Sincerely,
Courtney

OK, think I've got all of that out of my system now. Better get going. Suddenly have a hankering for some Life Cereal. Dunno why tho, probably cuz the martians told me to.