And introducing...
And the moment you've all been waiting for... (or could give a fuck less about) Whoever could this mysterious Rupert be? Probably some English bloke. Probably me. (suspenseful music keys up) I ride in lifts (as opposed to elevators), I pronounce aluminum as Al You Min E Um, and i think everything in life should involve a spot of tea. Or maybe I'm a 6.6 ft. AMERICAN 23 year old married to a gorgeous girl by the name of Courtney. My name is 3 letters, starts with T, ends with M, and has an I thrown in there somewhere. I work for the company known as Sam's Club, the better half of Walmart, which in the eyes of grocery unions, such as my wife's former employer, is evil incarnate. This does not in fact make me a demon, ghoul, spector, phantom, tyrant, or villain; however, I suppose it does make Sam Walton the Anti-Christ. (PPsssst...he's not really dead, he's gonna rise again as predicted in the book of Revelation and take over the world with low prices. Absolutely everything will be priced at 6 dollars and 66 cents. ) My favorite movies, can I get a couple of hell yeahs, are: Fight Club, Blade, Exorcist, the Star Wars sexology "tee hee"(not a stars wars porno starring Darth Penetrator and Princess LayYa', sex is latin for 6), and of course The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Yes, Peter Jackson you are a genius no matter what they say about you *ahem. I have to admit at first I was a bit skeptical of the whole blogger idea, but after reading several of my wife's chuckle-inducing entries, I have come to the conclusion that an outlet for miscellaneous ranting isnt really so bad. After all, if even one word of this conglomeration of 26 symbols induces a slight chuckle or even a knee slap then I've made the world a better place.
-Timothy
P.S. Tune in next week for: "Disturbed: Newest album quite disturbing"
P.S.S. Thank you Chloe for the idea of a CD review
P.S.S.S. I love you honey
posted by Courtney at 11:13 PM
5 Comments:
Who is this Rupert fellow? He sounds like a charming gent who is also a good sport at Hearts. I'll have to make his acquaintance. I also hear he kicks ass at Super Smash Brothers yet is polite enough to hand out tissues afterwards.
1:20 AM
"Some call me... Tim."
Al you min e um. Classic. I like that. Well, time to bow my hat, and give you a "howdy-do". I"m Rapty (don't look at me, chloe named me that), and its a pleasure to meet the acquaintance of someone who actually knows Chloe and Courtney. (you lucky bloke)
Yeah, i had misgivings at first at making a blog too, but everyone has them now-a-days. (i'd tell you where mine was, but i'm trying for that whole "mysterious, yet oh-so intriguing" stranger). Well, welcome to the club.
p.s. Bonus points for anyone who knows what movie that first sentence came from!
p.p.s. I use the word sextet instead of sexology. I can't help but think of a 70's slap guitar when i say "sexology". Sexology. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
11:37 AM
TIMOTHY! 6.6'=6' 7.2"!!! You have induced multiple exclamation marks for your impudence!
6'6", come on man! You added 1.2 inches to your height, bitch!
Gee, that comment by anonymous is REALLY mysterious. Who could make such a strange comment?
Clearly, an idiot, because Rupert sucks balls at hearts. I am refusing to comment RE: smash brothers, cause I hold the ball-sucking title for that. I'm still waiting for my trophy.
Maybe I should write an entry sometime soon.
No, I totally will. Really. Check back in a week.
Rapty: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! I hope. I googled that phrase-- yes I am ashamed. I saw it recently too, but didn't remember. And all the cool people have a blog. But it's only cool if you pimp it out at every possible opportunity. DUH!
7:40 PM
Clearly raptreader did not intend to give the bonus points to a CHEATER who had to look that quote up on google....
And this Mr. Rupert, or Cornelius, or whoever he is, sounds like a kindly old chap. Perhaps a touch of Down's Syndrome, but a kindly old chap nonetheless...crumpets anyone?
9:24 PM
You are so correct Princesspeach. No bonus points awarded. And i had such high hopes for you, Chloe. You've let me down... just like the tortilla hat. (you guys'll have to ask her) You can make it up to me by posting a new blog... otherwise, i'll have to change my name to "A Not-So-Attentive Reader."
Pip Pip, Cheerio now.
(btw, i won't put anyone to shame at my "l337" nintendo game skills.)
10:59 PM
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