Here's To Long Movies

Who would think, that in the course of 2 days one could waste 10 and a half hours of their life, on 3 movies alone. To who do I attribute fault for my incessant watching of movies? Peter Jackson.

Dear Mr. Jackson,
Thank you for putting out exorbitantly long movies. Thank you even more for marketing a movie based on a giant monkey. Had you not done this, my plight of 10 1/2 hours of movie watching would have never occurred. Due to your need for wonderful cinematorgraphy and length, my husband just had to see King Kong and who better to take than his dear wifey. Though I found myself sitting, ass numbing, thinking to myself "Just kill the damn monkey!!", my husband liked your movie. He particularly enjoyed (Spoiler Alert!) the scene when the T-rexes and Kong fight. Yes yes, great cinematography, However, how in the fuck does the chick (whos name I have already forgotten) get though all of that, being in Kong's hand, and still have perfect hair and makeup? Hmmmmm? Your movie inspired my husband to watch even more of your erroneously long flicks. Sadly, I am also a fan of these movies. The Lord of the Rings are some of the best movies I've seen. However, I have SEEN these movies, more than once. The problem with triologys is that once you watch one YOU JUST HAVE TO WATCH THE REST. So though my husband wanted to watch, I did not. Now we come to just a few days ago. I stumble in from work to find my husband asleep and the middle part of LOTR pt 1 and what do I do? Stupidly? I WATCH IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO now I am forever doomed to finish the series! I actually watched 2 and 3 back to back today. I could have gotten exercise. As I am indeed a fat ass. However I watched your movies and since I was not exercising, vowed to not cram my mouth full of food at least, to ease the pain. Now however, my husband just waked in the door and he brought me nachos. DAMMIT ALL TO HECK! Now I have yummy nachos sitting in front of me and I sat on my fat ass all day! All is thanks to your wonderful movies. And Guess what? My husband has only seen up to LOTR the two towers! So what does that mean I will spend my evening doing? You guessed it! Watching LOTR Return of the King AGAIN a mere 1 hr after I finished it. The moral of this story? I'm fat, I'm getting fatter, so please please shorten all future movies! Please? For me? For my growing ass? Thank you

Signed,
Your loyal fan,
Courtney

Well that was good to get out of my system. I suppose I shall not write more, after all, my nachos are getting cold. :)